About Adoption Is Trauma
“Many doctors and psychologists now understand that bonding doesn’t begin at birth, but is a continuum of physiological, psychological and spiritual events that begin in utero and continue throughout the postnatal bonding period. When this natural evolution is interrupted by a postnatal separation from the biological mother, the resultant experience of abandonment and loss is indelibly imprinted upon the unconscious minds of these children.” - Nancy Verrier, The Primal Wound
Welcome to Adoption Is Trauma, a growing collection of sincere yet surrealist meditations for adoptees on anger, loneliness, primal separation, and life's other challenges. We hope to maintain honesty in our content and encourage you to let us know if we ever fall short. Everyone is welcome.
The newsletter launches March 19, 2024, and goes out every Tuesday. For our paid subscribers, we do an additional one on the weekend. Over the coming months, we’ll add additional features, both free and paid, including a podcast and support meetings over Zoom for adoptees.
Additionally, paid subscribers have access to our archives and commenting privileges. Join a growing community and discuss adoption trauma in a respectful, dignified manner. And don’t forget to connect with us on Instagram and Twitter (X) — although I’m still debating whether to maintain the latter. It’s there for now, though.
Currently, most of the content is written by Brandon A. Dorfman, a domestic infant adoptee from a closed adoption, raised in a family that never uttered the word. The goal is to compensate others for their contributions in the future, although it will take some time. If you want to discuss the possibility, share your thoughts on classic or new Doctor Who, talk about Warren Zevon’s underrated but incredible Transverse City album, or just say hi, feel free to email me at badorfman@adoptionistrauma.com.
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Inevitably, when the adoptee community joins the discussion on systemic issues that underlie most, if not all, of our trauma, someone—whether an adoptive parent, a pro or 'fogged' adoptee, or even a distant relative who vaguely knows about an adopted cousin—interjects.
“My/my baby's birthmother/father/parents were meth addicted crack addicts who fed me/her/him week-old Ramen from the toilet (if they were fed at all) followed by constant beatings in a house without Jeebus! Should they/I/him/her/it/that have just grownsed up in the one-room orphanage with Pip in such a Dickensian nightmare? Adoption saved their/your/whose life!”
Peruse the adoption subculture online, and you'll encounter varying forms of the 'Savior Myth of Adoption,' often used to stifle any debate and divert social capital away from adoptees, akin to J.P. Morgan pilfering piggy banks from little kids during The Great Depression.
Adoption Is Trauma welcomes everyone, but we're not equal parts of the triad. Everything we do is adoptees-first.
Subscribe to our FREE newsletter to explore the surreal, traumatic landscape of adoption through personal stories, interviews, and reader check-ins every Tuesday. Gain full access to our community through our comment section.
Support us with a paid subscription for only $5 per month or a discounted $50 per year, and receive our exclusive weekend edition of Adoption Is Trauma. This edition includes our Meditations on Anger and extended reader check-ins.
Paid subscribers also have commenting privileges and full access to our archives.
If you can't commit to a subscription but still want to support our work, consider making a one-time donation. Whether it's $1 or $100, every contribution helps—and we remain eternally grateful.
To make it clear that Adoption Is Trauma won't engage in the emotional labor of adoptees, and I encourage you to call me out if I inadvertently do, we will never support or earn money from advertising or affiliate links of any kind. Additionally, 5% of our monthly revenue will be donated to an adoptee-positive nonprofit organization. Stay tuned for more details as they are finalized.
Check-In With Non-Identifying Information
Our Non-Identifying Information feature allows readers to check-in with us twice a week, including an extended weekend edition for paying subscribers. Share your experiences as an adoptee, how trauma impacts you, your thoughts on “forever families,”, or anything else that keeps you going. Letters are published anonymously and judgment-free, though we can’t guarantee yours will be published, or not judged by others. Send your thoughts and some non-identifying information to nonid@adoptionistrauma.com.
About the Publisher
Brandon A. Dorfman is a born and raised Philadelphian whose adoption records were sealed until his late 30s. The original sin of primal separation led to years of failed relationships and uncontrollable substance use, though he now enjoys over seven years of medicated, trauma-informed sobriety (it’s a work in progress). Most of his days now are blissfully spent with his incredible wife and their three prodigious sons eating cake and watching Disney princess movies and Doctor Who.
His work has appeared in print and online in current and former news outlets, including AlterNet, Delaware Valley Journal, Filter, The Fix, Generocity, High Times, HuffPost, MJ News Network, Philadelphia Citizen, Philadelphia Metro, PotNetwork News, Smoke & Vape Magazine, Talk Poverty, VentureBeat, and more. Reach out to Brandon about anything from adoption to Doctor Who at badorfman@adoptionistrauma.com.
To learn more about the tech platform that powers this publication, visit Substack.com.
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